glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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