apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
