in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
