ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
