If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize