his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
