Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Success! We fucked roommates!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
