My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
