I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
