cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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