he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
