i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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