idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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