Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize