Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
