Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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