We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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