normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
