Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
