Duck Duck Cougar?
she smelled like a LAN party
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
