i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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