Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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