Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
