You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
zippers are such a cool invention
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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