dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
