Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
