return my video game
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
