is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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