I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
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If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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