Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
