i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
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He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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