Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
