After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Every concussion has its silver lining
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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