my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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