as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
