I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
