It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
