2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
