I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
