I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
