just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
