Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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