so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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