That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
As shirtless as possible
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize