In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
