If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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