So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
