i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
