I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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