Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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