Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
