Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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