Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
