Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
