TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
