Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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