ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he thought i was a dude.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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