THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
