we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Houston, we have a squirter
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
