Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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