Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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