please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
