did you get engaged???
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
