Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
