I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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